“I know it may seem frightening; To have the world fall apart under your shoes, but trust me. You’ll make it through.”
You’ve got to understand girl, you’re so young. And everything- Right now. It seems so big, and important. It seems like it matters more than anything else that is, has or ever will happen. You’ve got to understand, that love. It doesn’t come easy. It doesn’t come in a month, or a year. It doesn’t happen over-night. Infact- it rarely ever does. When you truly love somebody, when you’re willing to take a silver bullet for somebody. Then we will talk.
When we are young, it’s infatuation. Lust.Want.Need. It’s about finding a place where we belong, with people that we deserve to be around, vice versa. You’re not in love, you’re comfortable, without trust. Loving somebody, is to trust no matter what. Loving somebody, is to sit at home alone and know that where they are, what they are doing; It’s nothing bad. If you keep things up this way, you’re never going to know what it is. You’re going to search and search, and search. For something that you can never find.
Check. Right now, this is all practice. This is sorting through the bad and decent ones, to find out what you like and what you want. Love is not something you can look for, it’s not something you can see. It’s something that lightly slaps you across the face, pushes you off of a mountain unexpectedly, something that- Until you hit the ground, you’re never going to know is there. And once you hit that ground, girl it ain’t ever going to be the same. You’re going to have to climb up that mountain, scrape your knee’s and maybe fall a couple times just to be able to make things work with that person.
It’s not ‘Lies’, It’s not a constant ‘I’m done’, it’s a battle that you fight until death for.
Right now, you need to focus solely on learning how to be an adult. Saving money, buying shit for YOURSELF and no one else. It’s about leaning off of mommy and daddy’s shoulders, and being a big girl. Being able to pay rent, being able to just get by. You’ve got to understand that Momma and Pappa are not going to be there forever, especially the way you’ve treated them.
And okay, look. I know I’m not one to talk. But for five years, I had to take care of my family and even though that’s know excuse, I’ve decided to take my break.
My life is beyond fucked up, I have completely ruined it. Maybe I’m not one to talk but you need to understand, that from experience I’ve learned my lessons. I’ve learned that no matter what, for some crazy reason people and things, and lives including our own are taken away from us on a daily basis. You need to learn that it’s time to grow up and it’s time to be responsible and it’s time to stop being clingy and stop being needy and learn how to do all the hard shit on your own.
I love you to death. But you need to get it through your head that your life, is not your highschool boyfriend. Not even your college boyfriend. In the end, it has nothing to do with them. It has to do with what you build for yourself, how you do it and why. It has to do with true happiness. Not the faux happiness you get from having somebody there no matter what.
If you want to destroy your life, and waste it away then okay. Go for it. But I expect you to get the fuck out of here before you do it in front of me.